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I Can’t Do This Alone (And I Wouldn’t Want To)

Greetings from the Pacific Northwest! Remember me? I’m the girl who moved across the country last May to live in sin in with her boyfriend in Seattle. Well, we’re still not married (because duh), but we are still together!Just like many other things that I’ve tried to prepare myself for, I knew this move would be hard, but I didn’t know in which ways it’d be hard. I was most nervous about our relationship- I was worried we’d get super sick of each other or that the stress of the move would break us or that we’d snap out of this love coma and turn to each to each other and be like, “Ohh, you? Seriously?”. Those are all valid concerns, of course, because that happens all the time (and I suppose it still could). Our foundation wasn’t faulty or anything, I’m just a worrier, and when my worries are valid, I run with them.

There have been struggles a plenty, though. We’ve been dealing with unemployment, bad employment, illness (and subsequent medical bills), stupid schedules and an apartment that’s far away from anything cool. Oh, and homesickness, but I suppose that’s to be expected, especially when you come from homes as good as ours.

We’re not out of the woods yet. In fact, we’re coming to terms that we might be foraging around in said woods for awhile. Might as well make it work.

We’re figuring this out- adjusting our lives accordingly and changing expectations. That’s what you do when you start fresh in a brand new city two thousand miles from home. It’s either that or just go right back home, tails between legs. That would be so lame, though, so we’re not going to do that. I think that being here has forced us to focus on what we really want to do, and then to do it. For me, that means work in not-so-great jobs until I settle on a graduate school program. And for my boyfriend? He wanted to get out here to climb some mountains. His mountaineering class starts in March. One step at a time, as they say.

Here’s the thing, though…

I can’t do this alone, and if I could, I wouldn’t want to.

We’ve had some big stresses, but we enjoy each other. That helps a lot. So, we’ll worry and we’ll vent and we’ll budget, but then we’ll crack each other up. We both have similar priorities and we both care a great deal about the health of our relationship and we put for the effort for it. Most real arguments get us somewhere and we’re better for it. I can bring an issue to him and it will be received with respect and love. So, that’s pretty great.

If I were in this alone, I’d probably be feeling a lot more lost. (My old single self is rolling her eyes…) I frequently think, “This is tough, but man, I’m lucky. I have such a good partner.” I spent a lot of time before him hoping to have an awesome relationship (oftentimes doubting it was possible), so now that I’m in one, I’m grateful. It makes the tough stuff not so tough.

Oh, and we’re not engaged. No hurry. My dad still hasn’t come up with that dowry.

Originally published on Awesomepreneur.

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