We will see.
My boyfriend asked me to move with him last August, and since then we have been prepping for it–saving our money, consoling our families, etc. In that time, I’ve shared my plans with many people and most of them are excited and encouraging. (Many of them are thoughtful enough to remind me that it rains a lot in Seattle. Thank god for them- I hadn’t a clue.) There’s always the standard questions that follow- “Are you moving there for work?”, “What does your boyfriend do?”, “What will your boyfriend do?”, “What will you do?”, “Do you know anyone out there?” I learned to patiently answer questions, as they are to be expected. Although at times, I felt robotic, dispensing the same answers time and time again.
If the other questions had me feeling robotic, there was one that made me short-circuit….
“So, are you getting married?!”
Gah! That question makes me cringe.
I knoooow. It’s a fair question, seeing as it is the common thought that if two people love each other enough to move across the country together, they will then get married. That’s how the game of life gets played, right? Yeah, well no.
I’m of the school of thought that if two people love each other enough to move across the country together, they…love each other enough to move across the country together. And then they see what happens next.
And then what happens after that. And then maybe it keeps working out for them and then they take it from there.
Maybe you’re thinking, “She hates marriage!” or “She hates her boyfriend and doesn’t want to marry him!” That is not the case. I think marriage can be great. When it’s done right. My parents are coming up on forty years and they still really like each other! I see all the merits of a long-lasting union. And as for my boyfriend? I love him. Not a little. A lot. More than any other guy I ever dated or pined for or thought of while singing along to the radio in my car. I love him enough to say, “Let’s do this. Let’s go on an adventure.” He loves me enough to say it back.
That is what we’re doing right now- going on an adventure and being in love. It’s pretty exciting. I can’t help but feel we’d be jumping the gun to the next big, giant step and completely looking past all that is great and interesting and important about what is happening right now. (And excuse me, but I think that’s where a lot of people go wrong…)
As for the long-term? I don’t have large dowry on my head, so we’re in no rush.
Maybe we will. Maybe we won’t. We will see.